Your Past Creates Your Future
by beckettxwine
Summary: Small one-shot. Kate and Castle reflect their past before the biggest day of their lives. Set for the finale of season five.


_Disclaimer: I don't own!_

Blondes. He likes blondes. Of course, this particular one hit from home for Kate. She was a friend to Kate once. A best friend. Of course Kate had always known she was the type of woman to get with any man that walked in front of her. Regardless, Kate didn't expect the next one to be him. So Kate watched the girl who had once been her best friend yell at her in the interrogation room, only reacting when Madison finally called out 'You wanna make little Castle babies!'

_Says the one who was eye-sexing him during dinner_, Kate wanted to shout. Instead, she went with the latter of 'He can hear us!' Her reaction to that was priceless. The blonde walked to the glass and had started calling to him, apologizing for them missing the Pumpkin Yoki. Kate watched her and had the urge to say, 'What are you, his bitch?' But her filter took care of that. Kate wondered how Castle thought of this. Of this girl, this blonde, calling through an interrogation room mirror at him. And then he knocked back.

Kate still kept in the back of her mind that Madison was his little bitch. She almost smirked.

x

A clone. That's all this woman was. A clone of herself. But not in the ways that mattered. Not in the ways that he wanted. Sure, he kissed her back in the elevator, and sure, he almost slept with her. But she wasn't a detective, and she didn't have the natural cherry scented brown wavy locks Kate had. She didn't play banter as well as Kate and she sure as hell didn't have a body like Kate did.

She knew Castle thought it was creepy. It was like having another Kate in the precinct, except, not at all. Natalie Rhodes may have the clothes Kate has, the wig, and maybe even the role of the person based on the detective, but she was no Kate Beckett. And she never would be. Ever. Kate knew that. There would never be anyone other than her, she hoped.

And when Castle walked into the precinct the next morning, Kate knew it wasn't the walk of a man who'd just slept with Natalie Rhodes, thought she'd never dare to admit it.

x

This was the what – third – blonde? She watched him swoon over this blonde, over the things she could and did do. She watched him ask the woman to dinner, and even watched as he pushed her up against a wall and kiss her_. For a distraction. _And that was infuriating, at most. Because the woman was a con-artist! She schemed for a living, and not one fiber in Kate's body doubted the face that he would have slept with her, had she not denied him.

It took Kate a few days to look over that one. To her, it's like saying 'Kate, I love you, but her ass is just so nice!' And choosing her. It just doesn't work like that. Love. Kate isn't good at relationships, she knows that, but she knew that wasn't supposed to happen. She knew he wasn't supposed to just turn his back on her once another beautiful woman came along.

x

And then the brunette. Which was a surprise because, well, he liked blondes. Kate didn't know whether to love or hate the woman. Of course, the detective side in her hated her for betraying their country. For betraying their trust. Castle's trust. But the Kate side in her told her to love the woman. This woman, Sophia, opened Kate's eyes in ways Castle couldn't have done, even trying.

She realized that with Sophia getting in the way of the two, of knowing that Castle had muses before her, it made her realize what she'd felt for him. Love. She felt love and hope and lust. She wanted him to wait until her wall was down. Hell, she wanted to wait until her wall was down, but Kate realized when she pushed her shoulder against Castle's, that she didn't want to. She was sick of waiting. Wall be damned, Kate was diving in.

xxxxxx

She liked brunettes. There was no doubt about that. The first brunette was.. A real handful. Castle didn't like him. Right off the bat, he knew there was something missing between the two of them. There was attraction. There was definitely attraction. There was a lot of longing as well. And then Castle found out Will left. He left her and he went to Boston without her.

_I would never do that to you,_ he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that he wouldn't leave like Will did. That he would always stay by her side. That he would stand with her. But he didn't. He watched them together. He watched the smiles, the flirts. He even watched the kiss. Castle wanted to say something to her. He wanted to stop the kiss; he wanted to be the person that was kissing her.

_So soon?_ He thought. _I'm feeling like this so soon?_ Of course. He'd loved her from the start.

x

Demming. Castle wanted to spit at even hearing the name. Demming was the whole reason why they hadn't started their relationship three years ago. He realizes now that it was also partially his fault. With Gina. But at the time it was just Demming. The thing that bothered Castle most was that he was a cop. He was alongside her as Castle was just the 'plucky sidekick.'

Castle felt low around him. He felt undermined and he hates to admit it, but throughout the time that Demming was with them, he felt forgotten. Like all of her attention was with Demming. He wasn't there. But that didn't matter now.

It won't ever matter again.

x

Doctor Motorcycle Boy. Oh man, this guy was a jungle gym for Castle. He didn't have enough fingers and toes to explain all of the reasons why this guy wasn't good for Kate. He was rude and prompt and he was barely even in Kate's life! Half of the time that he wasn't at the hospital, he was off in Africa.

Castle knew he wouldn't like him the minute he came into the precinct and asked her about her 'boys.' Castle didn't hate the name as much as he hated who it was coming from. And then the bomb happened, and they couldn't even enjoy a night in with wine and a movie because of Josh. Because he was still there.

But he wasn't there now. And he would never be again.

x

Kate didn't watch the people standing in their seats. She didn't watch the bridesmaids. She didn't glance at the empty seat that was left for her mother, and she didn't glance at the other one that was left for Captain Montgomery. She didn't even look at Iron Gates who was smiling more than anyone had ever seen her.

Kate was looking at him. At the man whose mouth was gaping and hands were clasped in front of him. In his suit and his tie that matched her light yellow dress. (White was too traditional, and Kate wanted anything but that.) When Kate had arrived next to him, when he was standing in her view, she didn't want to wait until the end of the ceremony. But she did.

And then when the words rang in both of their ears 'You may now kiss the bride' they let their lips flutter against each other, both smiling. Both clutching each other's hands. They pulled away and Castle rested his forehead on Kate's, their eyes dancing the word that would hold them together for as long as they lived.

_Always._

_A/N: Just a quick little thing that came to me at around one in the morning the other night! Hope you guys enjoy! Read and review! _


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